Out of sync

I decided to stay in Cape Verde for the week instead of going home early. I wrote a nice big list of pros and cons (don't we love those) for staying or going home and, ultimately, I realised I wouldn't necessarily be much happier at home and I'd still be doing very little so if…

Eleven Days

It's been eleven days since you broke up with me for approximately 30 minutes. Eleven days since you spent an entire day changing your mind and messing with mine in the process. Eleven days since you planted the worlds biggest mind fuck into my head and not a single day out of those eleven has…

V-Day-D-Day (Part 2)

That's right...V-Day-D-Day got worse yesterday AFTER I published my new post so here I am making an additional one. In all honesty, this guy deserves a separate post anyway, so well done him! Firstly, let me provide you with some humour as to why some of my previous Valentine's are 'special' in a not-so-special-way: 2013…

V-Day-D-Day

I think I lost a best friend today. Someone who became an unexpected best friend and yet potentially one of the best and all I've learnt is that our friendship was a lie. Happy Valentine's Day Len! Another bad one for the storybook. Genuinely cannot say I've had a good Valentine's Day ever. We would…

Raw

Hands tense, gripping what they can. Trying to stand tall but everything is crumbling. Heavier weights to try numb the even heavier pain. But it's falling away. It's being ripped away. It hurts. Oh it god damn hurts. The pounding starts. The voices come running. Whispers turn into screams. Walls back up but still spiralling downwards.…

A Beautiful Contradiction

Let me tell you this. Being told that no feelings had developed, no slight spark after almost 10 weeks of seeing me was potentially one of the most hurtful comments I've ever had. Being told that it has all been entirely platonic and being asked to explain why I thought he liked me was a…

Shit Happens

I know I did nothing wrong. I know that sometimes you simply aren't going to be the right person for someone but god, do I feel like a fool. Last night I wished I could say with conviction that it was his loss and yet I couldn't. His words have been such a contradiction to…

Worthless

I feel as if I'm in a constant state of numbness. Nothing is getting me out of this rut I'm in and so many thoughts are running through my head. It's starting to get clearer but that doesn't mean the pain goes away, in fact, it makes it hurt more. He tried to convince me…

The Ex-Almost

It wasn't really anything. You couldn't truly call it something. It didn't amount to much. Neither of them did. He was never realistically going to be your boyfriend. You weren't truly dating. It didn't amount to a fling. But I still felt something. I still fell for that guy the guy that was never going to be.…