24 June

Sometimes it feels like another day another health problem. I've had health issues since I was born but the list just gets longer and more complex every single year. Cerebral palsy, nerve damage, volkmanns, epilepsy, psoriasis and psoriatic arthritis, chrons disease, and recurring kidney stones. Let's not forget the barrage of injuries and operations I've…

12 June

And all of a sudden it's as though I can breathe again. Pressure lifted. Wrongful commitments gone. Myself first. Once and for all. Finally. Relief flows through the strength of saying no. Self-love for my own worth driving me forward. Not looking back. Because I'm happier with it staying behind. Moving on, weight free. Content…

30 April

I can confirm the days of recovery get better but I sometimes wonder just how better I am. Although the unhealthy physical habits of bingeing, purging, over-exercising, restriction etc. are gone the mental side can scream so loud. I want to enjoy food the way most people do. To experience meals without the cries of…

The benefits of comfort eating

Society taught me that comfort eating was bad. That I should be ashamed of any times I comfort ate in my life. Ironically, that "shaming" led to me comfort eating even more. Indeed, societal norms can cause us to find ourselves in a deadly cycle - I was shamed for being chubby - I comfort…

Out with the old – farewell Umbrella Adventures

It's been a long on-and-off-and-on-again-then-off-again 18 months. I used to write on my blog, Umbrella Adventures, so regularly in the turmoil of my bulimia and it helped me so much over the years. Getting all my emotions out, no matter how metaphorical and poetic my posts were, helped me understand, process and recover from my…

The Recovery Body

I think I am in "recovery". After suffering from bulimia with anorexic behaviours I now find myself 18 months purge-free. During those 18 months I found myself becoming less and less scared of the fear foods and I started to deal with triggering situations better every time. I found myself re-educating a love for myself…

Out of sync

I decided to stay in Cape Verde for the week instead of going home early. I wrote a nice big list of pros and cons (don't we love those) for staying or going home and, ultimately, I realised I wouldn't necessarily be much happier at home and I'd still be doing very little so if…

Robbed

My purse was stolen. Within a 12 hour window from me entering my hostel dorm at 7:30 pm to waking up at 7 am it was stolen. The hostel did nothing. They stared blankly at me when I asked what the protocol was for reporting a theft. They said they had none and were confused…

Travel Freedom

Two weeks of qualification leave over. Two out of those exciting yet scary six weeks done and dusted. Exciting because it’s a holiday to celebrate my qualification as a solicitor and scary because of the challenge it is for my ED. Even before I fully developed bulimia I displayed disordered behaviours which I managed to…

Flexible Planning

T-minus 24 hours until my qualification leave begins! (Well 24 hours if I leave work at 5pm tomorrow but my supervisor knows it’s my last day so fingers crossed he’ll let me run away as soon as it is professionally acceptable to do so). It still hasn’t fully hit me that I’m going to be…