Out of sync

I decided to stay in Cape Verde for the week instead of going home early. I wrote a nice big list of pros and cons (don't we love those) for staying or going home and, ultimately, I realised I wouldn't necessarily be much happier at home and I'd still be doing very little so if…

Times Like This

Woken up 4am Thursday morning with a pain in my left hand side. A stabbing pain that made me scream and cry and call out for my flatmates. 8 hours later and the hospital sent me home. Hand in hand with some paracetamol, they couldn't work out what had happened to me and said I…

Welcome Home

I've had this blank page staring back at me the past few days. Want to write, know that I do, but about what? I don't know. I just don't know. My head is spinning with a thousand questions, so much so I won't allow myself to even take a step back and appreciate how well…

Worthless

I feel as if I'm in a constant state of numbness. Nothing is getting me out of this rut I'm in and so many thoughts are running through my head. It's starting to get clearer but that doesn't mean the pain goes away, in fact, it makes it hurt more. He tried to convince me…

Brain = 1, Heart = 0

I should have listened to my brain instead of following my heart. It was right, it's always right. I'll be okay, deep down I knew it was coming and I know it was right. My brain knows but my heart aches. It was a nice visit nonetheless and being friendly is fine with me and…

Heartache, Heartbreak

I just feel so lonely, struggling to pick myself up. These past two months have been hell and I've never had to cope with so many different yet equally hard situations. And its as if there isn't anyone there. I feel like I'm struggling to get through this and I don't know how to make…

Be mine

I feel terrible saying this because of what happened last week. I tried to talk about it but it was still too raw, and he felt I was justifying what happened. I do understand that. But I want to go out. I want my boyfriend to come with me. To be proud to come out…

Tuesday Night

He caught me. I heard his footsteps but I didn't have enough time. Not enough time to clean up or sort myself out. Just not enough time. I panicked and I freaked out. It happened so fast yet felt so slow. I heard him coming in and I rushed, I tried to sort everything out.…