My body has changed a lot the last year. My body actually looks the smallest it's looked since I was really ill with bulimia. and I don't fully know how I'm supposed to feel about that. And, the thing is, I'm happy that my body is smaller. I'm happy that I've changed healthily. But I… Continue reading 3 April
The big, dreaded, over-thought-about-before, phone call happened on Thursday. It was supposed to be Tuesday but got switched last minute. That in itself freaked me out for a good 12 hours... But deep breaths and I got there. I was so incredibly nervous to hear my old therapist's voice as I sat on my bed… Continue reading Internal Criticisms
Apologies as there may be some triggering thoughts here. So, I thought I was doing okay and there were times I thought I was fine. Or at least the ‘Demon’ told me I was okay. Convinced me I didn’t need help. That there wasn’t an issue because what I was doing was keeping me… Continue reading Back to Basics
I've been back in London a week now and straight into my new house with my new housemates - two very good friends of mine and between you and me, once we get all the boring general admin such as bills and the like sorted, we'll be ticking over just fine. However, I feel so… Continue reading Self-inflicted Mind Games
An llness that doesn't care for age, height, gender or (rather ironically) weight. My ED carries a smile. A smile that whispers to the world 'I'm fine'. A smile that begs for someone to ask 'what's wrong?' but knows that if anyone does, it'll crack. My ED walks with a head held high. One that's… Continue reading This is what my ED looks like
It's been eleven days since you broke up with me for approximately 30 minutes. Eleven days since you spent an entire day changing your mind and messing with mine in the process. Eleven days since you planted the worlds biggest mind fuck into my head and not a single day out of those eleven has… Continue reading Eleven Days
A room so hot with heat and stress. Clock ticking down, minutes if not seconds left and then it's done. Four hours of time that passes so quick and it's over. Paper handed in, step outside and breathe. Done. Over. Seven years of law school. Finished. Drinks, food and laughter galore. The bank account winces… Continue reading Seven Years
I have a weekly face time catch up with a best friend of mine. A best friend I’ve actually only known two years, a best friend who’s been a best friend possibly less than a year but, regardless, the best of the best. Doesn’t matter how long you’ve known someone, all that matters is that… Continue reading Hello
The Recovery Lens 