My 25th birthday yesterday and to celebrate my quarter-of-a-century-ness the opticians delivered my first ever pair of glasses. Seven years of reading and writing and reading and writing and reading some more at university has left my eyes a little bit worse than where they started off. Perfectly lovely birthday even if I did panic… Continue reading Almost There
An llness that doesn't care for age, height, gender or (rather ironically) weight. My ED carries a smile. A smile that whispers to the world 'I'm fine'. A smile that begs for someone to ask 'what's wrong?' but knows that if anyone does, it'll crack. My ED walks with a head held high. One that's… Continue reading This is what my ED looks like
I've had this blank page staring back at me the past few days. Want to write, know that I do, but about what? I don't know. I just don't know. My head is spinning with a thousand questions, so much so I won't allow myself to even take a step back and appreciate how well… Continue reading Welcome Home
The rain was so heavy last night. It just endlessly poured and poured. It drenched me through, past skin and bones but I wasn't ready to go home. The voice at the other end of the phone cracked a feeble excuse of 'hello'. I could hear her tears begin to fall before I could say my… Continue reading Raindrops
That's right...V-Day-D-Day got worse yesterday AFTER I published my new post so here I am making an additional one. In all honesty, this guy deserves a separate post anyway, so well done him! Firstly, let me provide you with some humour as to why some of my previous Valentine's are 'special' in a not-so-special-way: 2013… Continue reading V-Day-D-Day (Part 2)
Words are powerful. They can crush a heart or heal it. They can shame a soul or liberate it. They can shatter dreams or energise them. They can obstruct connection or invite it. They can create defences or melt them. We have to use words wisely. My motivation to write can come from a variety of sources… Continue reading Wise Words
16 hours. 960 minutes. 57600 seconds is all it took for him to fuck up. Yet again. As always. Once more the man messed up. His actions have hurt me more than ever before. I hate how much he's hurt my entire family. I resent the pressure I have had to cope with to hold… Continue reading Parenting the Parents
It feels like I have this lump stuck in my throat. I've just gotten back from lunch with a friend and admittedly that's all I've eaten today. I'm trying hard to keep the panic at bay but I'm really struggling. The fact my meal was healthy doesn't matter, my brain doesn't see it that… Continue reading Tis The Season
You're never fully dressed without a smile 3 years into my recovery. 6 years since the Demon appeared. There's days I have that negative niggle in the back of my mind, the one that whispers things like I'm not good enough, I need to lose weight, everything will be better once I'm lighter. But those days are becoming… Continue reading The World Looks Brighter From Behind a Smile
Guess what I did last night? For the first time in 18-months? I went swimming. And I still can't quite believe it myself. I don't know why or when I decided to I just knew I wanted to go swimming and so I did. I dug out my old costume, hat, goggles, grabbed a towel… Continue reading Hello Old Friend
The Recovery Lens 